Did you read the story about a father and son who attended a professional baseball game together and in the fifth inning rushed onto the field and hit the pulp of a first base coach?
One of the excuses the father made was that the first base coach was making obscene gestures. Haven’t these guys been to a ball game before? This is what a first base coach pays to do.
Finger in the air, your hand on your butt: lay down the slam dunk.
Finger toward your nose, hand between your legs: Take the next step.
Move your hand towards the crotch, put your finger in your ear: go to the second.
I myself am a family man, and in the ’90s I was always looking for something to do with my son, so the idea of getting together on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and attacking a coach is the kind of creative activity he can make. The father/son bond is stronger.
It’s hard to find cool things to do with kids nowadays and no dad wants to be called a square, so we shouldn’t treat this guy too harshly in the news – even though he had no problem going down hard at first – coach Al-Qaeda.
Perhaps this father did not succeed in getting his son to the ballet or the symphony. I’m sure the suggestion to beat a boss was a last-ditch effort to find something the two of them could enjoy together. Let’s cut the guy some slack here.
I think we should offer similar activities that will bring parents and children closer. Let’s get them away from video games that instill antisocial behaviour.
Here are some suggestions:
Farther and son of car theft
Car, father and son. What could be more American, more apple pie? And Dad should let Junior drive his car during the theft, assuming it’s legal for him to be behind the wheel. Allowing a boy to steal a car without a valid license would be a bad example.
Father and son stole the light bulb
What’s the best way to get to know a Saturday afternoon to teach life skills like sleight of hand, misdirection, and concealment? Don’t underestimate the importance of petty crimes when it comes to your children. There is a lesson around every corner. And on every roof.
Father and son theft from stores
A great way to spend a day. Only the guys at the local Walmart stuff their pockets and backpacks with loot from the sporting goods department. You can teach your kid the value of being a smart consumer and show him how the average store thief gets more than a store manager.
Public indecency of father and son
There is no better way to communicate with your son than to be in a public place without your shirt and pants. A boy may forget the time his family took to Disney, but a naked night out at a bat game with your dad is a memory that never fades.
We are all busy, but it is important that we give our children the time they deserve. Parents also deserve time. According to the judge, the father who hates the coach will be looking for three years.
Retired TV personality Dick Wolfsey writes this weekly column in the Daily Journal. Send comments to [email protected]