Sideline Chatter: Doing Yurchenko down the aisle will probably clear her

No kidding – Simone Biles got a reverse card at the airport.

The 4-foot-7 world champion gymnast was wrong when she took the flight home after receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom this month.

She wrote on Instagram: “The flight attendant (tried) to give me a coloring book when I get on the plane…”. “I said: No, I’m fine, I’m twenty-five.”

“The other hostess gave me the mimosa, so we’re in the clear.”

Even better, the pilot halted the landing.

Addresses

• in TheOnion.com: “Conference reorganization continues as Florida joins the Ivy League.”

• in Fark.com: Gronk finished football in the game of life.

sticky wicket

A group of farmers and unemployed youths have been arrested for running a fake Indian league, broadcasting organized cricket matches online and scamming Russian bettors out of thousands of dollars.

But we will never know how it ended. The scam was exposed before it even reached the starring role.

They do running

This regional qualifying score just came from Japan’s 104th National High School Baseball Championship: Chiba Jakugi 82, Wasegako 0.

Chiba Jakugi scored 32 in the first and 33 in the second and, as said, hit 17 hurdles before Mercy’s 10-run rule started in fifth.

They don’t run

Expect to see a lot of tiger scouts in Chiba Jakugi games.

Detroit has closed 12 times this year.

baseball quiz

“Ten Men” is a story:

• Investigation to uncover two other perpetrators of the 1919 Black Sox scandal

• How the Blue Jays somehow lost 3-1 despite 10 anti-vaccine royals leaving

football language

USC logo updated: Student’s body left… for the Big Ten.

Yankees, stay home!

What happened to the old adage of baseball, hot dogs, and apple pie?

For the first time since 1915, the Yankees were not scheduled to play on the Fourth of July.

modern talk

Comedian Paul Lander, in a tearful farewell to Tiger Woods after he missed the British Open: “Please, please, please, let someone else lead you into the sunset.”

• Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune, on three Bears players who have been arrested over the past few months: “So Chicago took the lead early on in the NFC North.”

asking too much

The Athletic reported that Jazz manager Danny Inge called for six first-place players and four players from the Knicks when they inquired about the Donovan Mitchell deal.

The Statue of Liberty appears to have a no-trade clause.

speak live

How did Ohio State University beat The Open to The Branding?

quote, end quote

• Seattle Mariners, via Twitter, after Ty France two-stroke hits completed a comeback from 5-1 delay and awarded Seattle a 6-5 win, their 11th win in a row: “France comes the clutch on Bastille Day.”

• Competitive eater Joey Chestnut, to SI.com, On why he loves Thanksgiving more than the Fourth of July: “Everyone eats competitive food on Thanksgiving.”

• Dan Martin of the New York Post, on the unruly baseball leader: “The Yankees are starting to look like the secretaries at Belmont Stakes.”

• Janice Hough LeftCoastSportsBabe.com: “It’s the middle of the night. Do you know what conference your college football team participates in?”

It’s in the money

Three-year career stats for the much-injured Zion Williamson, who some got their maximum deal — five years, $193 million — from Pelicans:

• Target Field %: .604

• Free throw percentage: .683

• Games played %: .376

The new deal comes in at roughly $471,000 per game — or $1.25 million per game if he keeps his clip at 38%.

quotation marks

• Mike Bianchi of Orlando (Florida) The Guardian, has signed a 13-year multimedia deal for a guaranteed $125 million: “Or as I like to call it,” The Big 12 Facilities and NIL Fund. “”

• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginia Pilot, on the owner of the leader playing a cat-and-mouse game with Congress: “Dan Snyder would love to be as witty as he is.”

Comic writer Alex Kasberg, IOC member who returned Jim Thorpe’s gold medals at the 1912 Olympics: “In a timely move, the IOC feels strongly that women should be allowed to vote.”

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