Joey Skladani is a contributor to cooking. Follow him on Instagram and visit his website for more.
When it comes to restaurant salads, it takes Much to impress me. I’m unlike the Kardashian who sits on a bowl of greens and treats it like a Casio e Baby. No ma’am, not me, no thank you.
It should be a plate of garden vegetables truly It’s exciting for me to talk about it on social media. Otherwise, give me a chicken finger, give me a bun, heck — give me a limited-edition Oreo. But don’t put lettuce in front of my face and try to convince me that it deserves a square on the Instagram network. BVFT.
But there is one salad that proved the first exception to this rule: a variety of kale (RIP) I no longer have at the Hollywood Roosevelt Restaurant, Kitchen and Bar that has since closed (RIP, again).
In what seems like a previous life, I was a publicist for TLC, represented by Mama June and Honey Boo Boo, who actually preferred to stay in Hollywood’s most famous hotels (which bothers me a lot, because it’s haunted and in a tourist-centric trap, but I digress). You can only imagine what my four-day diet looked like when I brought the sketti-eat duo (ketchup, butter, and pasta) around for informative results during a jam-packed press tour. To keep things brief: It wasn’t cute.
So, I desperately pushed myself into the public dining room and ordered a turnip salad. He didn’t *also* look healthy, which was appealing. After all, the pancetta, Parmigiano-Reggiano, and currant breadcrumbs all sit beautifully on the ingredients list, but the garlic sauce really caught my eye. The Italian thought to me, “Let’s give this salad a dose for my metabolism and gut.”
And then, my perception of what power can change forever.
This cabbage mixture is an explosion of almost every flavor your palate can test: salt from cheese and pancetta, pungency from garlic, mustard from Dijon, herbs from parsley, bitterness from turnip, dust from pine nuts, spice from black pepper and sweetness from currants – a complete feast of flavors that… It demands exit independently of your tongue while also coexisting to create unparalleled balance and precision. And don’t get me started on the texture: The crunchy pancetta with the creaminess of pine nuts plays beautifully with the dressing that covers every crevice of every leaf.
It was the best salad I’ve ever tasted, but my experience was shattered when the server refused to share the recipe. In fact, it was completely dismissive, suggesting that I was trying to recreate it on my own. girl please.
The joke was on her because a simple Google search of my hotel room revealed that Chef Tim Goodell (who ran the kitchen at the time) shared his recipe at an event called Chefs Picnic Club at the Hollywood Bowl in 2012. And I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve achieved what I don’t Less than 100 times since – at dinner parties, Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday parties, you name it. I know that when I bring in the kale salad, it will be the talk of the evening. And I know I also bring a can of mint because the garlic sauce is strong, and frankly, I’m doing everyone a favor thinking ahead.
Which brings me to the full point of this article: providing a service to You arebeloved reader, with a link to the best kale salad recipe of all time… of all time (Kanye West Plays and All).
Some salads (from L.A., ironically, like John and Vinnie’s Jewel lettuce salad or charred green bean salad with hazelnuts and serrano chili), but none—not repeating anything, and with all the exaggeration I can muster—override I feel when I feel like this bad boy
So eat your heart out, Kim Kardashian. I mean it literally. This will put your boring Health Nut salad to absolute disgrace, no questions asked.
Kale salad with pine nuts, currants, pancetta breadcrumbs and parmesan
4 servings are enough
- 8 cups shredded cabbage without ribs
- 1/4 cup currants (dried cranberries or blueberries also work)
- 1/4 cup pine nuts
- 1/2 cup pancetta bread crumbs
- 1 cup garlic sauce (recipe below)
- 1 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 1 cup olive oil
- 1/2 cup grapeseed oil (or olive oil if needed)
- 1/2 cup champagne vinegar
- 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
- 6 garlic cloves
- 2 teaspoons salt
- 1/2 teaspoon pepper
- 1/2 cup chopped parsley
- In a food processor, combine the vinegar, garlic, and mustard, and add the oil in a slow stream to emulsify.
- season with salt and pepper; Add chopped parsley.
- In a bowl, mix kale, chutney, pine nuts, and currants together.
- Add salt and pepper to taste.
- Put the boiled salad on a plate. Top with pancetta breadcrumbs (recipe below).
Pancetta breadcrumbs (3/4 cup rusk, 4 ounces pancetta)
- Cut the pancetta into thin slices, put them on a baking tray and put the fat in the oven until the pancetta is crispy.
- Once cool, chop finely and mix with breadcrumbs.
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